


Hurry Up and Live

by AmandaJane (Cometgirl71822)



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Drama, Fluffy, M/M, Sweet, What-If, fic request, teeth rotting goodness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 12:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17828678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cometgirl71822/pseuds/AmandaJane
Summary: The last secret that Aaron never wanted to tell Robert.





	Hurry Up and Live

**Author's Note:**

  * For [irisnsc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisnsc/gifts).



> This is my first fic request, and it's from the lovely irisnsc. Check out her Tumblr and send her lots of love. Here is the request: 
> 
> "I've been thinking how the fact that Aaron had actually contemplated and almost murdered Robert when he was in the hospital in a coma after being shot has not really been addressed in the show. I'm imagining a scene where they are watching the news, and there's a story about a jilted lover killing his ex. Robert makes a comment, but Aaron is silent because it made him think about what he almost did." 
> 
> With that direction, I wrote the fic below. Please let me know what you think. Visit irisnc's Tumblr and have a great day!

Aaron hadn’t thought of that day in years.  Something he kept to himself. Quiet. Deep down.  It wasn’t the only secret he had pushed down, way down into his heart but it was the one secret that Robert didn’t know.  Something he was ashamed of feeling or even thinking about Robert. Even then. 

 

He kept it there. Hidden. All through the worst of times and the best.  There was never time for this secret to appear.

 

Until today.  This secret started to bubble up from his heart and slowly make its way towards his throat and soon to his mouth and then to his words. To the tips of his fingers that could write what he had hidden for so long.

 

All because of a television show.

 

_That was his fatal flaw. His final mistake.  With one word he had sealed his fate.  His lover wasn’t going to take the backseat to anyone anymore.  He needed to die._

 

“Wow. That is intense.” Robert said with awe.  Aaron looked up from his phone.  He was so wrapped up in his game; he hadn’t noticed what Robert had been watching.  This was their new thing since finding their way back to each other.  Each Sunday afternoon they end up on the couch, both at opposite ends with their legs wrapped together, enjoying what they want.  Usually doesn’t take long for one of them to migrate over. Cuddle up. Share a few kisses. Until it was time for dinner or Liv pretended to throw up. That’s when they knew their Sunday fun day was ending.

 

“What are you on about?” Aaron asked, letting his hand fall towards the pillow in his lap.  Robert bit his lip as he watched the television, the remote pressed against his cheek as he watched.  “Robert?”

 

Aaron’s voice finally broke through to Robert, his head moving slowly towards him. “Yeah?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Aaron said pointing towards the television. “What’s going on?”

 

Robert’s eyes lit up at the question as he sat up and leaned forward closer to Aaron.  “This show!  It’s all about true crime stories of ex-lovers, blackmail, revenge, and murder.  This one woman has had enough of being his secret and wants to take revenge. While her lover is in a coma.  It is good!”

 

Aaron felt his blood go cold. He sat up like Robert and leaned forward.  Looking down at his hands he tried to keep his eyes from Robert’s. He could feel the bubbling happening.  The memories coming to the surface of four years earlier. A time he wanted to forget. 

 

“Aaron?” Robert asked using a voice he only heard him use in the house. In their bed. In the quiet of the night.  It was his ‘Aaron keep calm’ voice that always worked on him.  Except for now.

 

Aaron took a breath before looking up. “I have something to tell you.”

 

Robert smiled as he sat back again.  “Oh, can I guess?”

 

“I don’t think…” Aaron started to say once he realized Robert wasn’t taking this seriously.  The secret was dangerously close to his lips now.

 

“You are a secret One Direction fan?” Robert asked, raising an eyebrow at the idea. 

 

“No,” Aaron said.

 

_Pathetic._

 

“You secretly love watching bad soap operas like Hollyoaks?” Robert asked again with a playfulness he reserved mostly for Aaron, Seb, and Sundays. He started to curl his legs tighter around Aaron’s.

 

“No, Robert….”

 

_No one is going to miss you._

 

“One more guess! You are secretly a government agent paid to keep a close eye on me only you got too close, and now you are in too deep…”

 

_So, hurry up and die._

 

“I tried to kill you four years ago.” Aaron shot out like verbal vomit, his eyes trailing downwards in shame.  He expected Robert to pull his legs away, the warmth to die. Except…it didn’t. Robert just rubbed his feet against Aaron’s leg. 

 

“I’m sure you got in line back then,” Robert said, his voice devoid of emotion.  Aaron’s head shot up in confusion at the comment. 

 

“What?”

 

“Back then? You were one in about a million that wanted me dead. It’s ok.” Robert told him turning his attention back to his television show. 

 

Aaron sat there in amazement at what just happened.  He expected some anger. He expected some hurt. He expected Robert to be upset. Worried. Instead? He got nothing. He got Robert’s shrug at Aaron’s last big secret from him, and that pissed him off. Aaron threw his phone onto the table next to him and threw himself over towards Robert, grabbing the remote, shutting off the TV. 

 

“AARON!” Robert yelled as Aaron threw the remote across the room, the loud bang of plastic against the wood floor, the sound vibrating around them.  Aaron’s legs rested around Robert’s lap, his arms bracketing Robert’s face, pushing him back into his pillow.

 

“I mean…I’m game if you are,” Robert said wiggling his eyebrows and leaning slightly forward trying to catch Aaron’s lips with his own. 

 

“Robert. I don’t want you to die. Not ever.” Aaron whispered.  Robert looked up at Aaron, letting his head fall back onto the pillow. His green eyes were soft and shining in the afternoon light. 

 

“Good to know.” Robert feebly joked as Aaron started to lightly run his fingers through Robert’s hair. 

 

“I promised myself that I wouldn’t tell you about that night.  What I said to you while you were in that coma. My hand on the plug to the only machines keeping you alive.” Aaron told him as Robert closed his eyes for a moment, a few stray tears falling from his eyes.  Aaron moved to wipe them away.

 

“You aren’t so cocky now, are you? Joking around like you deserved it. Acting like the big man and taking the blame for everything that happened back then. You thought you made everyone’s life hell.  It wasn’t all you, was it?  We all played a part back then.  All of us.” Aaron whispered as Robert shook his head, a few more tears falling.

 

“You don’t know why grateful and happy I am that you are here. Alive. With me.  Not just me.  Victoria. Andy. Bernice. Liv. Seb. Even Paddy and my mum.  Then me. You love us all and would do anything for us. No matter how much it hurts. You love and care about me…all of us.” Aaron took a moment to look over his husbands face.  Leaning down he pressed his lips to Robert’s forehead and felt Robert’s heart start to race.  He pulled back and brushed away some more tears.  He gently placed his forehead onto Robert taking in his scent.

 

“Some might say we are insane.  How we got started. The secrets. The hiding. How much hurt and pain we put each other through.  It’s like we went through hell and back twice. I’m sure we will be there again someday, but I know, we are strong enough to get through it together.  I never want to hurt you again.  I know you don’t want to hurt me either. So, don’t act like you deserve to die.  I want you to stay with me.  Stay alive for me. Love me. Don’t let me go.” Aaron whispered, his voice raw with emotion as he felt his own tears fall onto Robert’s cheeks, mixing with his own. 

 

He felt Robert sniff as he pulled away to get a better look at his face.  Robert had been crying too, but he looked more handsome than ever to Aaron.  Robert took a steadying breath before looking up into Aaron’s blue eyes.

 

“Did you really want me dead?” Robert whispered.

 

“Yes. I even said it out loud. In that hospital room. In the middle of the night. Worst night of my life.”

 

Robert nodded and shifted a bit to get a hand free. He gently reached forward to cup the side of Aaron’s face, his thumb wiping away Aaron’s tears.

 

“Do you feel better now that you told me? Keeping that kind of secret from your husband couldn’t have been easy.” Robert whispered. 

 

“I do. Everything is out there now. Nothing else left that you don’t know about me.” Aaron told him making Robert smile.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you more.”

 

“I don’t think that is possible,” Robert said pulling Aaron’ down to lay flat on top of him as he finally captured Aaron’s lips giving him a kiss he could feel from his head to his toes.  A kiss that only Robert could give him.  His heart ached at the thought he would have missed this. All of this.  If he took his bad advice and died on him. 

 

“Do you still wish I was a secret agent paid to get close to you?” Aaron asked breathlessly breaking the kiss.

 

“Shut up and kiss me you idiot,” Robert muttered, his eyes lidded and he pulled Aaron close again. Both smiling into the kiss as the afternoon light started to fade around them and the dark night that awaited them didn’t seem so dark anymore. 

 


End file.
